The past eighteen months have brought incredible blessings and hardships to my family. We have endured many court hearings, agency worker visits, therapy sessions and the list goes on. However, I can honestly say, we would do it all over again. Our family has grown in so many ways. Obviously, the size of our family has multiplied, but we have also developed a deeper faith and love with God as well as each other.

On November 19, 2016, National Adoption Day, our whole extended family and a few close friends filled the courtroom. They say it takes a village to raise a child, our village crowded the court room that day. We were all so excited to finally hear the judge read aloud that the state of Pennsylvania granted the adoption of these three children. There was not a dry eye in the room. Our family was finally complete after the many long months of waiting.

So many people want to ignore or hide the reality that a great deal of children are suffering in the foster care system today. There are too many orphaned children and not enough loving families to invest in the kids lives. I think Robert Frost wrote it best, “Two roads diverged in wood, and I/ I took the one less traveled by,/ And that has made all the difference.” My family took a leap of faith and explored the road less traveled and our lives are forever changed.

I encourage everyone to consider being the loving family these children so desperately need. They did not choose to live in the situations they were born into. The children are not bad people, but they are alone. If you cannot bring a child into your home, find another way to help. There are plenty of opportunities to volunteer, spread awareness, or even just pray for their safety and well-being. I hope you can find it in yourself to physically, financially, or spiritually invest in these children’s lives. It will make all the difference.

My youngest siblings have severe behavioral issues due to their past and the trauma they endured. My middle sister suffered the most trauma and now has to go through intense therapy and psychiatric help. Our family had planned to go to Disney World for vacation over the summer, but we were nervous because of the kids struggle to behave in everyday life, let alone a foreign place with massive amounts of stimulation. However, my sisters psychiatrist strongly believes in what he referred to as “Disney Therapy”. He told us in the past his patients benefited from a trip to see the famous mouse and friends. So, we decided to go through with the plan and enjoy our family vacation.

The beginning of the week confirmed our original fears for the trip. Upon arrival to the park there were so many people, large attractions, and loud music that the three kids were overstimulated and couldn’t get a handle on themselves. It took a couple days of adjustment to the new place. By the end of the week my sister was going on the biggest roller coaster she would be allowed on for her height, Expedition Everest, Disney’s Animal Kingdom.

Overall, our family was able to have a great time on our vacation. We were able to go to all the places we had originally planned. I think my sisters doctor was right. Disney is the most magical place on earth and can be therapeutic for kids who have behavioral problems. There were definitely some bumps in the road, but for the most part we enjoyed our trip. We have great memories to look back on.

The adoption process and everything it includes caused incredible amounts of stress. Throughout the past year there had been many court hearings and meetings with the team of workers that were involved in the process. Our family had spent hours upon hours planning and prepping for the ultimate goal of complete unity.

My siblings and I began a tradition of dinner time dance parties. It seemed to be the only time of the day when we could forget about all the crazy events that consumed our lives. The world around us paused for a few minutes while we leaped and twirled around the kitchen. During those moments it seemed as if everything was right with the world and there was no pain or heartache.

We have continued this tradition even though the stress of the foster care system is now behind us.We sing and dance to the music. Our family loves to belt out the songs of any Disney movie and giggle at the lack of talent we have. I hope this tradition never ends.

We have gotten through many difficult situations by taking a break and having spontaneous dance parties. One of the quotes I live by says, “Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, its about learning to dance in the rain” (Vivian Greene). My siblings and I have learned to dance in the rain together. I encourage everyone to take time out of their hectic schedules and spend time doing whatever makes them happy.

Over the past year and a half many workers have been in and out of our home to evaluate the kids and our family. We have hosted social workers, child advocates, family advocates, service coordinators, behavioral specialists, child prep workers, therapeutic support staff, mobile therapists, and the list goes on. Many nights per week were spent with workers talking through the evening. Some grew to be a part of the family.

The children were raised with so many people taking care of them. They had countless people involved in their lives and making sure they had all the services they needed. You have heard the saying “It takes a village to raise a child”, well there is no truer statement than that. We had a whole city in our corner. From day one, a team of people have worked hours on end to support our family. The theme of our “Gotcha Day” party was “Team Balbach” because everyone involved was part of an amazing group that brought our beautiful family together forever.

Though the workers encouraged our family, a sense of terror entered the children’s eyes every time they visited. In the past, the social workers had removed the kids from their home and taken them to strangers houses many times. The fear of being taken away again consumed the children every night a social worker stopped by. Their anxiety caused them to act out and misbehave. Our family will have to help the kids overcome this terror, it may take years to work through, but eventually we hope it subsides.

After the adoption, the frequent visits from the multitude of workers has drastically declined. Appointments with the service coordinator, behavioral specialist, and therapists continue to occur, however our family has much more time on our own. The lack of visits have allowed our family to become united and grow on our own.

I continue to be amazed at the amount of people who have made such an impact on our lives. Our family has so much to be thankful for this year. We hope the new year brings even more joy and togetherness.

As a young child, I always wanted a sister or two.  My two brothers were fun to have around, but they were never willing to let me paint their nails.  I had dreams to spend time with my sisters doing what girls like to do, playing ‘house’, having spa days, and growing up with a built-in best friend. However, as time passed, my dreams faded, I knew that I was getting too old to have the ideal sister I always wanted.

In 2012, my parents decided they wanted to begin the process to become foster parents. The agency took three years looking for children that could live in our home. On August 11, 2015, three children, two girls and a boy, moved into our home. At the time, I was 18, a senior in high school, and preparing for college.

All of a sudden, I shared my room with two little girls, 5 and 2, who had night terrors and some severe emotional trauma. I did not believe I would get too emotionally invested. My life was already planned, and I had accepted the fact that I would not have sisters. There was also no guarantee that they would stay for a long period of time.

I had been severely mistaken on the effect the children would have on my life. Suddenly, I found myself constantly talking about my new siblings. I became so invested in their lives in such a short amount of time. We quickly grew into the best of friends. Together we watched movies, danced in the kitchen, and laughed the afternoon away.

I remember times when family members and friends judged my parents for taking on such a task. They made passive-aggressive comments and snide remarks about the children and their unfortunate past. During that time, it was hard for me to bite my tongue and keep my frustration to myself. I noticed myself defending my new siblings, something I never pictured myself doing.

These children have lived with us for one year and four months. On November 19, 2016, my family went to the court house to officially adopt my three youngest siblings. My life has been forever changed. I see the world with an entirely new perspective. God placed these children in my life for a reason and everyday I see his plan working in our lives.

The adoption process is long and draining for all of the people involved. There are many court dates, visits from the social workers for the state and the agency, and visits from all of the extra people who coordinate the lives and services provided for the children. During this long process the kids become acquainted with their new family and lifestyle. They become part of the family before they are legally part of it.

It takes months for the court to finally take full custody away from the biological parents and give rights to the foster parents. Sometimes, the case workers lose track of the biological parents whereabouts and are forced to wait for weeks on end until a form can be signed. The court dates are scheduled, postponed, and rescheduled countless times.

My family has been going through the foster to adopt process for a little over a year. Before one of the court hearings, my sister exclaimed to my parents, ” I can’t wait to see my court friends!”. I believe this anecdote portrays a good picture of how many times my siblings had to go to court during this process.

There are times when one can’t help but wonder if it is worth it. It is emotionally draining to watch children lose their biological families, even though they become a part of a family that can take care of them so much better. God gives us strength when he knows we need it most. He helps and encourages anyone who listens to his commands. The adoption process may be lengthy and sad, but God has a plan.

Adoption, most of the time, is painted as this beautiful picture of a family coming together and joining through the bonds of law and love. However, this lovely image simply covers the ugly truth about the way lives are affected by adoption. Adoption itself really is a beautiful thing, but it comes from a past full of heartbreak and loss.

The foster care system is a brutal place to be for any child that is placed in it. The children are taken out of their biological homes and placed in the homes of strangers. They move around from home to home, until someone is willing to adopt them, or they turn eighteen and are left on their own. Many times these children are feeling unwanted and unloved. They learn how to take care of themselves, and block out anyone who might have the power to hurt them.

Foster children go through pain that no one should ever have to endure. They go through mental, physical, and emotional trauma that takes years and hundreds of therapy sessions to work through. A lot of these children put up walls between their emotions and the people who are trying to love them. They do not allow themselves to have feelings for the people around them because the children fear that if they get too close, they will get hurt.

These children do not have anyone to rely on, but themselves. They know that they can be taken away from a home any time a social worker comes to visit. They cope by throwing fits, refusing to use the restroom and going in their pants, and yelling all the foul language they have learned along the way. Often, these behaviors cause foster parents to doubt their ability to take care of the children and have them taken away. It is a viscous cycle that is hard to break.

Children in the foster system become victims of the state, and are subject to the decisions of people who do not even know them. I encourage anyone who can take in a child, and give them a loving home, to do so. These children are innocent and not at fault for the lives they have been given. God calls us all to take care of the orphans, just as he does. My wish for the future is that no child will have to wonder where their next meal will come from, or where they will sleep at night. I hope people are able to open their hearts and homes in order to save the children from a life of pain.